Before I went to sleep last night, I had flashbacks of all the embarrassing things I’ve done. Like when I was 19 and I went to a young leaders summit and sat near the front row so I could see Kris Wu talk about climate change. In front of everyone I screamed, I LOVE YOU KRIS, right as he was leaving the stage. So embarrassing, what was I thinking? Among all the young “global leaders” I was one of the oldest, and yet I’m the one who acted like a child.
Then there was the time I accidentally sat on Zac Ryan in 11th grade. It’s crazy because I think he was starting to like me, then I had to fuck it up by acting like an idiot. I wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t sat on him and embarrassed us both in front of the entire grade. All this shame is making it harder to sleep.
Maybe I’m just nervous about my trip. I’m headed home tomorrow--so vacation over. Hudson gave me a bonus so I guess this trip wasn’t a gaping hole in my finances, but it still doesn’t come close to covering what I would have made if I stayed and worked at Rosewood. But I’m not going to worry about that. Instead I’ll enjoy my last few moments of solitude, my dream, before I enter reality.