I know it’s good to be competitive and ambitious—in my opinion anyway—but I find I’m comparing myself to my friends in unhealthy ways. It’s gotten to the point where if someone tells me something good that happened, I’ll immediately think of how I could have achieved that is I did ______ or that they only achieved that because they knew the right person or happened to be in the right place.
I need to find balance. The accomplishments of others should motivate me, not threaten me. It was so easy in the mid-west. I could literally operate at 70 percent and have all of Bloomington eating out of the palm of my hand. In New York everyone’s moving at 100percent 80 percent of the time...and the other 20 percent is spent worrying. Ugh, does everyone in this city have generalized anxiety disorder!?
Okay, maybe I’m overreacting. End of vacation blues, ya know? Rather than worry about what I haven’t done and still need to do, maybe I’ll spend the rest of this plane ride watching Frozen. Maybe it’ll teach me to let ‘isht go.