Dear Young Woman: A Get What You Want in Life & Finance Plan

Dear young woman,

If you’re healthy and in your 20’s - consider yourself blessed. You have the most valuable resource of all - “time”.

Like most, I took my youth for granted. I wasted much of my time as a young adult and didn’t plan ahead more than a couple weeks at a time. I rarely had money to travel or to treat myself to a big purchase. And when rent was due each month, I’d scramble to put it together. There are a few little things that I wish I had done during my 20’s that would have made a massive impact on my 30s and so on. Primarily investing my money vs. spending it on things I can’t even recall now, and working towards my career/life goals vs. going with the flow - i.e. saying “yes” to everything my parents or friends wanted me to do.

Here are my tips on how to set yourself up for success. You could call it a general.... “Get What You Want in Life & Finance” Plan:

1. Eliminate all expenses, people and distractions that aren't bringing you closer to your dreams or real happiness. They have no room in your life and you can’t afford to spend your very limited resources on them. At least for right now.

2. Pay off all your debt. This means credit cards, school loans, personal loans, and anything or anyone else you owe money to. Start by paying off the debt you’re paying the highest interest on. The sooner you can get your debt to zero the sooner you can start saving and investing.

3. Start an emergency fund. Save enough money that can cover 3-4 months of expenses. Only use this money in case of an emergency. Emergencies such as you lose your job or become unable to work, medical bills or your car breaks down.

4. Create four "shoe boxes" or something to this affect for your income. Each “shoe box” represents a budget for each one of these living essentials - 1) bills, 2) travel/entertainment/clothes, 3) transportation/food and 4) savings. For every dollar you bring home, be sure to put 10% into your savings and the 90% divide up accordingly to the remainder of your shoe boxes. This is a simple way to budget your money. Rule of thumb - put more money into #4 savings than you do #2 travel/entertainment/etc.

5. Invest 10% of your income for retirement. More if you can. Smart investments would be a retirement index fund or a no load, low cost mutual fund such as Vanguard 500 and Vanguard Small Cap Fund. The stock market is also a safe place to invest money long term. This is money you will not touch for 20+ years...when you're ready to retire.

6. When it comes to reaching your long term goals - make a plan with the end in mind. Start with where you want to be, then work backwards. Write down each step you will take to get there. This will be your roadmap.

7. Take each step. Little by little - make sure they are not that big. When you accomplish each small step, your confidence...and happiness will grow. If you're struggling with a step - ask for help from someone who has experience with it. Don't be afraid to ask for a hand, but don't expect it to be given to you. You still need to show up and put in the work.

Be patient with yourself. Forgive yourself. And get excited! The glass is half full and you have plenty of time to make mistakes, learn and grow. When you see a problem as an opportunity, failure as growth, pain as progress, set backs as lessons, etc ... there really is nothing in your way. It's just a matter of perspective...so change how you think to get what you want.

I think the above is a good starting point in maximizing your youth. Happy to share more with you - if you find any of this helpful or if you have questions please leave in the comments below.

Sincerely,

Die Happy Tonight’s Founder & CEO

p.s. This email is a part of series of emails I’ll be sending to all of our models in hopes that this 38 year old man can shed some light on topics of self-growth, self love and excelling in this cloudy world we all work in. If you disagree with anything I share or would like to offer some of your own advice, please write back. I'd love to hear your perspective and will consider including it in future models emails. Let's rise together!

Dear Young Woman: Wake up!

Dear young woman,

Wake up. Stop living in a fantasy world. Stop feeling entitled. Stop feeling like a victim. Stop pretending like you’re independent when your parents or lover are paying your bills. Stop faking the life you live just to impress people who don’t care about you. That after “this” (college, work, living at home, whatever “this” is) is over that you’ll suddenly have all the solutions. No one cares that you had a bad day, decided to buy a new pair of shoes instead of paying your rent, that you only made $220 working all night or that you don’t feel well because you’re not taking care of yourself. And yes, there are a lot of crappy men out there…and you’re going to come across a lot of them if you keep looking in the same places.

Note: I wrote this post because I feel some of you (not all) may benefit from my bluntness and point of view. I’m not always right and it’s perfectly fine if you don’t agree with me…in fact, challenging what others think is what Die Happy Tonight is all about. My intention is to simply light a spark for one of you. I hope I may continue with this piece. If you’ve made it this far, I’ll take that as a “yes”...

You’re becoming an adult and I’d like to share some truths on what you can expect during your 20’s and how to make the most of these amazing, important years. Yes, by all means go out and live it up! Make mistakes, in fact make a lot of them - you don’t have much to lose. Explore yourself, others and the world - now is the very best time for this. I’d also like you to consider adding these two items to your routine.

1. Be thankful.
2. Be prepared.

Be thankful. Life is a precious, delicate thing. If you have your health and live in this City, you’re already the 1% of the population. Stop counting what you don’t have and start counting what you do have. You’ll see that you’re truly blessed. Feel like you’re missing something? Go out and get it. No one is going to just give it to you. Put in the work. Make the sacrifices. Take the leap of faith. For God’s sake - Die Happy Tonight started in my apartment seven years ago.

Be prepared. This is the most important one. You are the creator of your life. The sooner you begin being responsible for yourself the more of yourself and this world you will understand, value and own. Owning your life is true freedom. It means stepping outside of your comfort zone. Becoming independent of everyone and anyone. Having your own place, your own car (and drivers license) and own source of income to pay for all of it. It means taking care of your loved ones vs. them taking care of you. It means not just saving your money but also investing your money! It means stop being short sited and start planning long term so you can set yourself up for the life you want to live…. which is many, many more years. It means becoming an adult. Whoa.

Life is hard.

It’s really fucking hard when you’re living on your own accord.

It’s not what you see in the movies or on Instagram.

So I beg you, please come back down to Earth my love. I want to see you soar like the beautiful bird that you are…just remember that even the boldest of birds spend time on the ground.

Sincerely,

Die Happy Tonight’s Founder & CEO

p.s. This is a part of series of posts dedicated to our models in hopes that this 38 year old man can shed some light on topics of self-growth, self love and thriving in this cloudy world we work in. I'm going to be super real, direct and vulnerable with you. I'm going to share advice that I take myself. Much of it from people way smarter than myself. If you disagree with anything I share, please do not hold back as I value others perspectives tremendously. I will consider what you share when writing future posts. Thank you for reading.

Dear Young Woman: Please forgive me.

Dear young woman,

I just wanted to remind you that not all men suck and sometimes you’re better off without us anyways.

Sincerely,

Die Happy Tonight’s Owner & Founder

p.s. I’m a 37-year old man. A man who’s single, never married and with no children. I live in a nice house, drive a nice car and wear nice clothes. From the outside, you’d think I have the perfect life. My life is very far from perfect. I’m a man who’s been lost, who’s hated himself, who’s unfulfilled, often lonely, who doesn’t have it all together, and who has taken his life for granted.

And shamefully...I’ve taken the women in my life for granted.

I’ve paid for the company of women. I’ve used my position of power to manipulate women. I’ve hurt women I love deeply emotionally. My previous relationship even became physically violent. I’ve cheated more times than I can remember. I’ve lied to women close to me to cover it all up. I’ve lied to myself.

Like some lost men do, I lied to myself and put the blame of my shortcomings on others - particularly women. I want you to know, it’s NEVER the woman’s fault for a man to act like a “pig”.

Whenever a man acts less than a man it is due to simply a lack of integrity. Nothing else. Integrity is our guiding principals in all that we do and all that we say. It’s easy to lose our integrity and, thankfully, it’s also easy to get it back. So, please don’t give up on us.

But, I’m here to tell you  - you don’t need us.

You don’t need a man to feel loved, to feel beautiful, or to feel wanted. You simply need someone, anyone, to lift you up. To be a POSITIVE force behind you during your journey called life. On this journey, it’s your responsibility to learn how love yourself, love the skin you’re in and to desire nothing more than what’s already inside of you.

You’re a POWERFUL human being. You don’t, and can not, realize how powerful you truly are...yet.

You haven’t lived long enough to know what you’re capable of. Be PATIENT; you have a long life ahead of you. Be FEARLESS. Take risks. Be INDEPENDENT. Live alone. Forgive yourself and FORGIVE OTHERS. INVEST in and LOVE YOURSELF. Once you fully connect with that person inside of you...I promise your ENTIRE world will change.