All of the lights

Dear Diary,

I have a plan.

Tonight, I’m going to put on my best lingerie and do my makeup in the most luscious way possible. ’Fuck me’ makeup is what I call it, like I’m on my way to a dick appointment. But I’m not going to a dick appointment; I’m going on a date, with my boyfriend.

I’m sick of Johnny’s mood swings. It’s time he realize what he has and just how good he has it. The apartment is not only in my name, but we’d be paying so much more money if I had gotten it for market price (thanks to my friends in high places). Maybe he’s stressed out at work and maybe he needs to pick better friends (or learn how to be a better friend himself) but none of that has anything to do with me. He can’t (or he shouldn’t) take out his frustrations on me just by being distant. Just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should.

We’re going to go to one of my favorite places, its members only (I used to go all the time before we got back together). We’re going to pick a girl we like and we’ll have fun. Then we’ll stop by my friend’s dinner party, the friend who happens to have a penthouse suite. He’ll see all the lights and everything this world has to offer, everything he can have when we’re together.

Then we’ll go home and right after I take off my pretty party dress, I’ll ask him “what’s up, why have you been so out of it lately?” and he’ll have to answer before I take off my expensive lingerie.