Drenched in sex.

There is nothing like New York City in the summer. The humidity clings to your skin like the sweat of an affair. The sun ceases all time, and the only thing I can think of is languidly chasing my longings. Everything’s drenched in sex here in the summer. Even my cold glass of wine drips with the anticipation of my touch. It’s as if I am being called to reach out and seduce my world, right here in front of all who will watch. I take one graceful finger and slowly stroke from the bottom of the glass up to its rim. I want to taste its wet as I would the sweetness of my crush and her parting lips. I take my finger and glide it across my lips, I can feel the cold condensation gathering and tickling the corner of my mouth, it falls and I can’t help but feel this ravenous thirst. I don’t want to cool down anymore, I want to be suffused in someone’s ferocity, beads of fallen sweat evaporating on my hot skin. I want someone to join in my affair with this city air.

The village below.

A slow night at work... It seems like the whole world wants to piss me off today. The men I approach say nothing, but hold their hands up, like they cannot be bothered to speak. Why the fuck are you here? I keep asking myself. The night is young, your men will come soon...whoever they are… Finally, after one Tom Collins and some relentless bitching, a familiar face appears from behind the curtain, followed by three very animated guys. An eclectic group they don’t seem to quite fit, but I like it. I approach my friend, and soon after we take a shot I am in the center of the 4 of them, answering their questions, laughing at their jokes, reveling in their adoration. One has a media business, the other a stylist to celebrities, and the other an alchemist, if you will, of fine cocktails. Tonight, the old friends celebrate their reunion, and the meeting of a new muse, of course. After some moments of chatting and a few dances later, they are leaving for another place with peculiar cocktails and softer music. They slip me the address of a high-end spot in the west village and a couple hundred dollars as a thank you for making them smile... I look around, this place is slow, and I have had enough hands of rejection for the night. I pack my things up and leave the club to fend for itself. In the name of kinder gentlemen, creative cocktails, and soothing music...I hail a cab and leave for the village below.

Nowhere special.

I’m standing in the middle of a crowd, in the center of a room, in the basement of this old brick building. It smells of warm bodies, spilled rum-cokes, and dust floating off the old subwoofer. I am nowhere special, with no one extraordinary, but I am reminded of this summer past. This melodic techno mixed with the taste of liquor and sweat in the air, transports me, and I am back in Lisbon. In the dingy basement of a club too big. The whole time my eyes closed, body moved, and a hand caressing me. It was hours before, when we took the MDMA. On the rooftop in the warm wet air, we unwrapped the little plastic bag, dropped it into our drinks and floated through the club like we were in water. These strangers but a few days ago have become my family in what has turned into a 3 day binge of rum, weed, sex, and sleepless nights. Feeling the pulse in our chest, we swear the music is inside us, like the dj is fucking us with their sounds. She knew exactly what she was doing. The seductress of the crowd, I felt her as I moved through the wet sensations beneath my skirt. There was no shift in time, the world seemed still and quiet, a contrast against the wild movements, the strobing colors, and the pounding bass. My eyes closed for what seemed like but a minute and opened to a blinding light in the corner. The spotlight stung my dilated pupils. We carefully look from behind our shielded eyes to see the doors have opened and the sun has risen. I open my eyes again, to find myself in a dark basement, nowhere special, with no one extraordinary, so I go to the roof to be with the rising sun again.

Company of strangers.

I remember my first night working in Manhattan. It was an unusually quiet Friday in Hell’s Kitchen. I found myself speaking with two handsome, well dressed men from India. They make frequent business trips to New York, and they liked my smile. I sat between the two of them adoring me, bringing me wine, caressing my shoulders; they were drunk with scotch, and my presence. I felt...power. They went out for a cigarette and asked if I would join. As I waited at the front for my coat, a familiar face walks past me on the phone. In an instant I shiver and hide myself from view. I don’t need another look, I know who it is. Have they come to haunt me? I’ve moved across the country to New York, only to see my ex from California on my first day of work. I left him for a reason and was not about to revisit the past. It’s a shock when a ghost comes to visit, like walking into a room of broken glass and mirror. My feet have healed, and I’ve swept it away. His broken reflection was of no use. I packed my bag and left to a small bar in the East village, preferring the company of strangers and my glass of absinthe.

- Eve

Lost in the noise.

There is a something beautiful that happens when you are alone. The layers of expectations fall away, you are no longer seen through the lens of another, but in a scope of your own. When I am alone I finally feel seen. It’s like everything I’ve always been can be revealed. Sometimes people drown themselves in others, seeking validation, and comfort in the shadow of the group. It’s this incessant need to control or to pacify that gnaws at your autonomy. When you are alone, however, the noise stops, things get sharper, your vision clears. The world becomes yours and yours alone. I refuse to let myself be defined by another, to let myself be lost in the noise.

- Eve

Little exhibitionist.

I went to Central Park today. The spring has seduced me. After months of dark, wet, misery...and some hot, dirty sex to help me get through...my skin was begging for the touch of the sun. It’s a day like this that impels me to slip into intoxication, falling prey to my desires. I had my little red dress on over my naked body, and I left my panties at home. I wanted to feel the warmth everywhere. I lay back on the blanket, my cold white wine in a little jar next to me, while I smoke my joint. Inhaling the smoke sensually, like it is the aroma of a lover, I slowly open my thighs to feel the soft cool breeze. No one sees, but the thought of someone watching my parting legs beneath my short dress excites me. I take a sip and indulge my little exhibitionist.

- Eve

Drown out the noise.

Have you ever committed to something until the bitter end? Have you ever held on to an idea you believe in beyond when it was shiny and new? Or do you just get passionate for a week or two tops and then move on to the next diversion? What sucks is when you do that with the things that you love. You tell me that maybe 'you're just not passionate about it anymore' and I'm like "What?" Is there a law that says that you should be in the "honeymoon phase"... past the honeymoon phase? Passion is a commitment. Awww, fuck. Cliches again. I'm sorry, but you're seriously gonna make me do this? I have to "afternoon special" your ass right now? Come on! You know you're SUPPOSED to reach a plateau at some point! Then... you're supposed to work through the plateau! You know all of this! That's how you make extraordinary things appear, remember? Is there ANYTHING you have that kind of commitment to? French fries don't count. The thing you're OBSESSED about is what people call "purpose". And you will only start to know the enjoyment that "it" brings when you reject your previous dysfunctions and start working again towards your destiny until it's back to fever pitch. Go! (Btw, the girl in the photo rejected me at first. I asked again. Then she said ok. I asked her why she changed her mind. She said she wanted to see if I really wanted it.)

Happy Valentines day.

Although I’ve written you long DMs, and poetry, and left you cute one liners in your comments, I’m not actually looking forward to ever seeing you again. I’ll tell you why. When I met you, I thought you were awesome. I felt that all the time we spent together at Katie's party was special (even if I did end up fucking someone else later that night). You haunted me for days and when I saw you again I realized why. You were my soulmate, even if I do hate that word. But I’ve learned that soulmates are a little bit like siblings, you know? Just because you’re connected doesn’t mean that you have to actually hang out… ever. Sure, like any couple, when we were apart the romance grew. But that’s the only time it grew. I tried to make it happen… I really tried… until I realized that I shouldn’t be trying. I’ll tell you when everything changed. It was when you let it slip that you were passionate about nothing. You were probably even joking, but soon I started seeing the signs of an embeded truth in that casual humor. For some people ‘lack of passion’ is not a deal breaker. And it’s not like I’m this hopeless romantic that needs for all of your actions to be like a ’slow-dance’ with life, but... it would be nice. Instead, you leech off my joie-de-vivre and you tell my stories to your friends like they’re your own. While you were hand-crafting those pretty little stickers with the word “GAS” written on them and sticking them on the red plastic canisters, I was the one supplying the actual fuel to this ridiculous non-relationship. Oh, and I almost considered enduring just a little more of it after I saw a sudden rise in my creative output. You were making me feel and that’s always addictive to creative people (the rest of us). But the emptiness ended up causing me to start repeating myself and it started hurting my art. That’s why, at the risk of having to stare at a blank canvas for the rest of my life, I’m ready to wish you farewell. Happy Valentines day.

My first night. Part II.

There’s a lascivious darkness in the air and I feel it as soon as I walk through the door. The lights are dimly muted while the music is sharply penetrating. There are wolves in expensive suits in every corner and I can feel them sniffing me from a distance. I could run, but the Jessica Rabbit in me likes being delicious prey. There are gorgeous women gliding through each room leaving their scent behind and the alcohol is strong. A tall, attractive gentleman introduces himself and offers me a drink. I smile, order my Scotch at the bar and feel it instantly flow through my body. And for the first time in a while, I’m in a daze and aware that I am exactly where I need to be. I could get lost in this forever.  

My first night.

Tonight is the night. I’m both nervous and excited to attend my first party of this nature. I don’t know what to expect, but I have a cavernous sense that its something my mind and body will get wrapped up in. I’m wearing a short leather skirt and a black transparent top with X tape covering my nipples. My unlawful red lipstick matches the bottom of my Louboutin heels. Usually, I drink wine, but its a Scotch type of night for me. Sophia just called and she’s waiting outside.

At home with Monika. (VIDEO)

There is no greater time in life to be young, wild, free and happy than now!

Just say "hi" a lot.

A party is any time two strangers decide to no longer be strangers anymore. My life isn’t glamorous, I just say “hi” a lot.
 

Never judge a party...

Never judge a party by how many people are there. Judge a party by how many people are interacting.

I'm not looking for love.

I'm not looking for love. I'm looking for a love experience. - Erin

I'm not good at sleeping.

I saw Brighton standing under a red light. I went to say hi. “I’m healthy, all my limbs are intact, everything is working perfectly… So why would I put down my body, or be self conscious about it when I could celebrate it? I'm not good at sleeping so this makes perfect sense to me."

Lana's Birthday

I met with Lana last night for her birthday. She's one of the "it" girls behind this weekly private party I've never heard of. I told her that when she walks it’s sexy because she doesn’t even realize the effect that she has on the world. That’s what I wanted to photograph - I wanted her movement embodied in a still image or die trying. She wrote me an hour ago to say that the experience changed her life and that it had got her thinking about things that she’s never thought about before. She wants to meet again at Die Happy for drinks.

A note from our Founder...

With all the bad that is happening in the world today, it's hard for me to think what I do is even relevant. Hosting parties seems so unimportant when the world has been shaken to it's bone by strings of natural disasters, hate and racism, senseless acts of bombings and last nights mass shooting in Las Vegas. All of which have taken countless human lives. In a word, it's depressing. We are truly living in a sobering time. In a way, all the bad reminds me of why I started hosting these events in the first place.

"Die Happy" is a reminder to live a little because life is too short.

I think the late Hugh Hefner had it right when he said "A lot of people go through life never quite understanding that if things aren't as wonderful as they should be, it's their own fault." This is coming from someone who woke up every day and went to bed every night thinking he's the luckiest person on the planet. The crazy thing is, we can all do the same if we just spent more time doing what we love. 

 Come celebrate life with us.

I want a good story to tell...

I want to live life to the fullest. Be a part of as many people’s lives as I can be a part of. We’re all here on this earth… People are important. I personally thrive off of others. If I stayed in bed I wouldn’t do anything special. And I want a good story to tell every day that I come home.

Summer in the City.

Welcome to New York City. Each summer the girls get even hotter. My friend Jessica wants to go to an afterparty but I tell her to go without me… I had to see about a girl. The girl takes me to a bar. It’s not really my scene but she has my full attention. She says that what she’s wearing underneath is perfect for a photoshoot. I couldn’t agree more. I never go home early but here I was. Home. Early. Every choice I made tonight led me here. I started wondering what if I had gone to that afterparty? How would my night be different? Everyone was there. Even that coacheck girl I met at Avenue. And I know we would have had some kinda connection. Yeah that’s the kind of night I needed. A soulful night. One on one. Oh well.

I need a break...

It's been such a strenuous day. Being an actress in New York is draining. The hours are demanding and people are so damn entitled. My best friend Sophia wants to go out tomorrow night. I'll take any excuse to go out. I need a break from this rat race. Her co-worker told her about this private party Die Happy she's been to a few times. I'm not sure what to expect, but she tells me that it's my "thing." It sounds promising.