An Accidental Orgasm

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Dear Diary,

 

Today I had an accidental orgasm. It was so weird; I didn’t even like the guy. A few girls have told me before that this happens and I always thought wow, you’re a weirdo. Like, who comes accidentally and because of someone you’re not even attracted to...it sounds like those lame perv excuses. You know when some guy on the train is like, oops—I accidentally grabbed your ass, my mistake, the subway is so crowded.

 

That’s what it sounds like when some girl tells me, in secret and always with a twinkle in her eye, OMG that old guy made me cum. I’m not kink shaming or anything, it’s just like if you were horny and the old guy turns you on, just admit it and move on.

 

Everyone wants to come, right? There’s no shame in it...then why am I finding it so hard to talk about? Even right now diary, I’m almost disappointed in myself. I think I’m so in control of my body, but every so often I’m reminded that I’m not. Are we all human animals?

 

I think what’s really pissing me off is that the guy was disgusting. Not physically but mentally. He was a total MAGA nut job and when I asked him if he wanted to dance, he said, “Oh, I don’t know about that sweetheart. I wouldn’t want to scare you.”

 

Scare me?

 

It took twenty-four minutes to convince him to do a few songs with me and I’m not including the time spent waiting for our drinks to arrive—the drinks he insisted on getting before we go...maybe that’s what I liked. For all his bravado, he seemed nervous at times. At least, he was before we went to the back room.

 

In the back room he was in control. I almost fell backward when he grabbed my ass and pulled me over his lap. He spanked me and grabbed my tits and I’ve never felt so alive. So on fire, so controlled. I came in five minutes. I made a small spot on his new pants—not that he minded. In fact, he tipped me a little extra. Still, I’m pissed I gave that human RNC convention the satisfaction.

 

I guess I should masturbate before I go to work from now on.  

THE BIGGEST TURN ON TO ME... (VIDEO)

Mariah is a 22-year-old from Ohio. Moving to New York, she's met a lot of different types of men...

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"Eve's Drop" is produced by Die Happy Tonight, a boutique hospitality company and the creators of Rosewood, a private gentlemen's club in New York City. For more info, visit diehappytonight.com

I was groomed to be a companion for wealthy men... (video)

Claudia is a 21-year-old from NYC. She grew up in the Upper East Side and would sneak downtown to go to clubs in highschool...

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"Eve's Drop" is produced by Die Happy Tonight, a boutique hospitality company and the creators of Rosewood, a private gentlemen's club in New York City. For more info, visit diehappytonight.com

My night is a collection of short love stories... (video)

Maria is a 22-year-old from Ohio. She was drawn to dancing to make extra cash, but didn't realize how much she would enjoy it...

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"Eve's Drop" is a video and podcast series featuring real stories from the women who frequent Die Happy Tonight, the most liberating lapdance party on Earth and the the creators of Rosewood, a private gentleman's club in New York City. For more videos, click here. For podcast, click here.

IF I DON'T GET MONEY I WON'T GET DICK... (VIDEO)

Gypsie is a 22-year-old from LA. Her boyfriend told her they won't have sex if she doesn't make any money tonight...

………

"Eve's Drop" is a video and podcast series featuring real stories from the women who frequent Die Happy Tonight, the most liberating lapdance party on Earth and the the creators of Rosewood, a private gentleman's club in New York City. For more videos, click here. For podcast, click here.

In search of Adonis': The desire.

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There are not many things I will not try. And certainly, few that are new to me. My willingness, some have said, is my best quality. My eagerness to explore and expand is an instinct that runs deep. My desire to be pleasured is one that rules my world.

My sexual experiences are always quite varied. I have a taste for a little bit of everything and a hunger for anything. My stories of passionate affairs and kinky escapades have kept me company for quite some time now. But there has always been one adventure I've longed immensely to embark upon. A fantasy of mine since the moments I began expanding my intimate repertoire. It has been to be ravished in a threesome by two sexy men. Despite having multiple lovers at once, despite having many threesomes, I’ve never been loved by more than one man at a time.

I WANT! I want them both to be at my disposal. I want them both to be infatuated with me and I want them both to obey my every command. I want to be fucked until I cannot speak, I want to make them do things they've been too timid to attempt. I want them on their knees. The will worship. They will me feel like the most brilliant woman alive.

This not-so-secret desire of mine is loud. This dream I have has been building and I can no longer pass it by, I can no longer pretend like it is not the most prominent thought that rolling from between my thighs.

So I refuse to. I will seek out the perfect men, I’ll seduce them into submission, and I will retrieve my fantasy. Filled, fine, and fancy.


Stand up to Infinity.

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It takes a brave soul to stand up to infinity. To follow a dream to its demise or definition.it takes a passion that runs so deep, it hurts. A pain that impulses one to further their wonder.

I’ve stood in the room, face to face with my dreams and my loves. I’ve seen the details of their expression. I’ve stepped into a reality where they are a part of me, a part of my process. When it comes time to grace the light upon the world. I’ll say I’ve faced every demon and celebrated every angel. I’ll say I looked at the truth in the eyes and cried for the nights i had not the strength to try. It takes a brave soul to stand up to infinity. I need a brave love.


Pretty Face, Dark Soul

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Dear Diary,

 

You’re going to laugh at me, but it must be said. I think my feelings for Jeremy have begun to cool a bit. Maybe I have a pretty face and a dark soul...no, I’m not evil—at least not 100%--it’s just that I’ve got to know him better. He’s no longer my mysterious older crush. He’s a man. A really smart, really insecure man—with a massive cock.

 

I’ve begun to realize his standoffish thing is really just his way of protecting himself. He’s so scared to be hurt he doesn’t want to let anyone in...he’s also so afraid of being laughed at he doesn’t express himself very well. Part of me wants to hold him and take his pain away. The other part of me wants to slap him and tell him to grow up.

 

Like, you’re super smart and pretty well off—get some therapy and stop acting like the world is some dark, depraved place. Yes, it kind of is but only when you look at it that way. I still care about him; I wish I didn’t, but I do. At the same time, I think I stopped putting him on a pedestal. He’s not flawless, it’s just that his problems are so different than mine.

 

Anyway, he’s moving out next month (some trap house in Brooklyn I’m sure). He says I should come and visit.

 

I think I will.

 

-XO

AM

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 “I bet you gave your teachers a really hard time.”  Then he rolled over and kissed me on the cheek.

 

I rolled my eyes, “You act like I’m so much younger than you. You’re barely ten years older than me.”

 

“Ten years and three months.”

 

Again, I rolled my eyes. “So what?”

 

He stared at the ceiling, “We’re in different generations.”

 

“Oh no! Well, I guess we can’t get married then, huh?” I think he laughed at the sarcasm in my voice. “Besides, age and time are arbitrary constructs. The only value they have is what we place on them.”

 

“Spoken like a member of Gen Z.”

 

I hit him with a pillow.

 

“Who just turned 22.”

 

“I’m 23 you asshole.” But even as I said it, I climbed on top of him and covered his mouth with mine. I was getting bored of our conversation.

Baby Girl

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Dear Diary,

 

Do you want to know how my night with Jeremy went? Okay, I’ll tell you.

 

So, when he got home, he didn’t want to go out. I wasn’t deterred, I said

 

“Fine, let’s say in. I missed you, ya know.”

 

He seemed like he wasn’t feeling it and I was right. He said, “Eve I missed you too. But I literally just got off a plane and I’m very tired. Let’s have a drink some other night.”

 

Then I pouted and said, “I haven’t seen you in two weeks and you want to crash as soon as you get home. Aren’t we friends” he started to protest so I poured him a glass of wine, “one drink. Tell me about your trip and then you can go to sleep.”

 

...

We were talking, sitting on the stools next to the island in the kitchen, and we started moving closer. You know how that happens, when someone is telling an engrossing story and you subtly and subconsciously move closer toward them. We ended up sitting thigh to thigh and he noticed he barely touched his wine.

 

“It’s getting late” he said, and he had the audacity to pull away from me.

 

“No, let’s stay here,” I begged him. I pulled myself closer to him so we could sit the way we were moments before.

 

He looked at me and for a moment I had to look away.

 

Then he said, “Baby girl, you’re just too young. Okay you’re cute and you’re nice but...”

 

I kissed him and said, “Don’t call me baby girl.”

 

He actually pulled away again. “Eve, I’m serious. One of us needs to be responsible. We both know—”and I stopped him mid-sentence, with my tongue. And my hand.

 

He moaned a little and said, “You’re going to make me do something I’ll regret.”

 

I looked him dead in the eye and said, “Prove it.”

 

-XO

A New Game

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Dear Diary,

 

I have a new game I want to play.

 

I’m going to have sex with Jeremy. Legit, that’s the only way to tell if he really likes me or if he only sees me as a kid. Hopefully he has a tiny dick and I can get rid of the crush I have on him...even if he doesn’t there’s no way sex with him can live up to my fantasies. This is the perfect way to force myself to stop thinking about him.

 

Unless, of course, sex with him is awesome. Then, I’ll probably still be super into him but hopefully in a more physical way. I can stop hanging on his every word and start seeing him as a person. Maybe I can even go back to focusing on myself and the life I want to lead.

 

I haven’t thought up a plan to seduce him. Shouldn’t it be easy? I could accidentally wander in his room...”Oh, I got lost on my way to the bathroom”. Maybe I should just sleep in his bed and when he gets home from one of his trips I’ll just be there—like Surprise! Haha, I know I’m being a creep.

 

I could go the traditional route. Ask if he wants to get a drink, then make our way back to his room afterward...I don’t know. But I am excited just thinking about it.

 

-XO

Mr. Right Now

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Dear Diary,

 

I still have a crush on Jeremy, my 32-year-old roommate. Bearded, beanied, bespectled Jeremy. He’s a consultant for Addias, an adjunct professor at NYU, and the man of my dreams. I hate to be cliché, but even if he’s not Mr. Right, why can’t he be Mr. Right Now?

 

He’s almost never home. His job has him working at odd hours and he teaches evening classes on the weekends. Here’s why I like him, besides the obvious (he’s cute and smart and funny...though not especially nice...which may be why I like him...anyway..). Handsome doesn’t begin to describe him, he has a boyish quality to his face which is kind of offset by the ruggedness of his attitude.

 

What I mean is, he’s full of contradictions. He looks young but he acts much older, he’s smart but he doesn’t talk much...he seems like he likes people, but he only has a small circle of friends. I can’t tell how he feels about me.

 

Like I said, it’s not that he’s nice or especially polite. I just feel like he listens when I talk...he actually hears me and thinks about what I said before he responds. It’s like that movie Pulp Fiction, he listens instead of waiting to talk. He has a way of calming me down...if I’m freaking out about something, he’ll let me vent for a little while before coming up with a really obvious solution to whatever was bugging me.

 

At the same time, he makes me nervous in a way I haven’t decided is good or bad. Around him I’m less confident, I’m more self-conscious of my age. He calls me a “kid” and I hate it, but I can’t help but feel that he’s right. He makes me want to scale a mountain or write a Game of Thrones length novel, just to show him I can. But I don’t know if that’s a good thing. Good guys aren’t supposed to make you feel insecure, are they?

 

I don’t know any of the answers to the questions I just asked...I guess I just have to live a little bit more and figure it out.

 

-XO

Miracles Happen Everyday

Dear Diary,

 

It’s almost 2am and I should go to sleep. But I had this idea and I needed to write it down, so it solidifies. My idea, no my declaration is this: I am done rushing through my life. Yes, I have goals I want to achieve (who doesn’t?) but that doesn’t mean I need to hurry up and achieve them. It’s like I was trying to check everything off my list before experiencing some unforeseen doom in my near future.

 

I’m done with that. I’m done planning for every potential awful outcome. I’ve been given one life. It’s a gift I didn’t earn but nonetheless I received. Life is something to be cherished, not feared and raced through. My race is over, with this pen I write my manifesto. I declare my intentions and I set my goal, one that is so simple it can be difficult to hold.

 

I’m going to chase my dreams, even when it scares me. Even when it’s impractical, even when I know statistically my time may be better spent elsewhere. They say luck is chance meets preparation, an opportunity partially earned. It’s like you never know when and where luck will strike so I may as well chase my dreams and be as prepared as possible for the perfect opportunity. Because miracles happen every day; why shouldn’t they happen to me too?

Wild Thoughts

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Dear Diary,

 

Sometimes, I feel like I’m on fire.

 

I love it and I hate it. I feel like my body controls me when it should be the other way around. I want to focus on myself, not on this guy or that girl. But that thought is just that, a thought. An abstract intangible fragment of my—oh my god my roommate is sooo hot!

 

He’s 32 so I know it won’t happen and it can’t happen, and it shouldn’t happen. He just broke up with his girlfriend of seven years. He’s depressed. He’s sad and lonely and confused. He doesn’t need a 23-year-old stripper/writer/personal assistant to complicate his emotions.

 

But I want to. I want to complicate our relationship. I want things to be awkward in the house, I want our other roommates to hear us fucking and groan...or maybe come join.

 

See! Why do I think things like that??! The fire takes over my brain and all I can do is think about my body and how good it feels when someone else is inside of it. And honestly, why shouldn’t I? Aren’t I a person? Why is it so wrong to want to be held...I’m more than just a stripper, I’m a person on her way to self-actualization. I’m a human being who longs to be with someone, I’m a woman who longs to be held...is that so bad?

 

Maybe I’m being selfish. Out of all the guys in the world why would I hook up with my millennial roommate with undiagnosed clinical depression? Maybe I’m trying to use pseudo philosophy to justify my selfish physical desires...I dunno man. I guess I’ll just masturbate and see if that makes the fire go away...or at least smothers it a bit.

 

-XO

On my own

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Dear Diary,

 

I moved, all by myself. That means no Karl, no Shaun, no Mickey—I am completely alone. I’m not afraid. On the contrary, I fucking love it.

 

It’s like, I’m young. As much as I hate to admit it sometime, I am really young and there’s a lot I don’t know, just because I haven’t had the chance to experience it yet. So there’s no need to rush and live life like my idols, it’s okay to take my time and enjoy this portion of my life. What I’m trying to say is, I have roommates.

 

I moved back to the East village, in an apartment that’s nicer than the one I had when I went to NYU but still nowhere near as nice as my old place in midtown. What’s different now is I have people who can spilt the Netflix and con ed bill, what’s nice is when I’m lonely I can pop my head out the door and find new friends to talk to. I’ll admit, I was (or still am) apprehensive about living with new people when I’m so used to being independent and on my own. BUT, maybe this will be cool.

 

Fun, even.

The timid are mine.

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I met this boy about a month ago. He is kind and sexy. We met at the club. He immediately fell into adoration,

I sat on his lap all night. This kind of scene wasn’t really his thing he said, but I must say, he played well with others. Returning to his wallet over and over again. He had a kind smile and bashful thoughts to share. This really wasn’t his scene. However, he did get my number. I can’t help it, I have a soft spot for the timid. It’s the dominant within, I have a curiosity that won’t be satisfied until I know what’s beneath this person, or if I can coerce it out into the open.

Let’s see how good this shy little boy really is.


High School Reversion.

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My favorite part about visiting home are my hidden gems. The trouble I seem to get into...and no one even knows. When I go visit my family, it’s as if I revert back to high school, the thrill of sneaking out to meet someone no one knows about. The quickie between dinner plans and familial duties. It has become a tradition. Each time we are in the same small town we grew up in, we can't help but to reach out in the odd hours of the night and entice ourselves. It begins with an innocent text, a genuine curiosity. Then our deviance begins to crawl out. We begin sharing photos and stories of our fucks the year past. His are always particularly naughty. And all I want is another night of invisible, juvenile debauchery.

It ends with a drive through the windy suburban streets and a beautifully hard cock in my ass.

Oh, kids will be kids…


A good fuck gone wrong.

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I went on a date the other night. We worked together on a project a few months ago and had kept in contact. Flirting innocently through social media. We had stopped communication. Occupied otherwise with our prospective careers and ventures. Until the other night. He texted quite late, inviting me to a midnight showing of some abstract film. We met up at the bar an hour later. He already had a martini waiting for me. Gently wrapping his arm around my waste for a hug.

I was ignited by his sexy smile and his sweet Australian accent. We went into the theater after catching up. It was a long movie that we awkwardly held hands through. It was not comfortable, I felt like I was in high school again, wanting to touch the person I admire, but unsure on how to reach out, too awkward to adjust and too inexperienced to take control. So there we sat, grasping each other’s hands as if we couldn’t release for fear of emotionally wounding the other. My initial thought was, “ok this is cute, but weird… but cute.” Toward the end of the movie he turns to kiss me and we make out for a while. I have to admit that redeemed him from a very juvenile date. After the movie ended we grabbed another drink. The conversation seamlessly flowing from analyzing the film to exploring our thoughts on intergenerational memories. I was impressed. He kept up, kept me interested, and kept me wanting.

So skillfully I invited him to my place. He was more than happy to oblige.

We got to my room and cuddled casually continuing our discussions. It felt comfortable and easy. And I knew where this was all heading. It had been some months since my last decent fuck and I had a craving to be filled.

He turns to me and we begin to make out. What I loved about this was his desire to make out. This vital piece of the process is so often left out when engaging with the less evolved lover. But he was into it. The more we made out the warmer I became and the louder my pussy throbbed.

He undressed me and I felt his beautiful cock. A handful of his uncircumcised cock made me beg for it.

It was right as I begun to increase my desire when things began to take a turn. He played with my pussy with his hands as mine were tight around his cock. I was waiting for him to take the dive and devour me entirely...but he never did. Time passed and I thought to myself, “perhaps he is hyper vigilant when it comes to protection and STI’s I respect that. Then he turned over on top of me and went to enter me with no condom.

Now, at this point I was both immensely aroused and annoyed. I just can’t seem to understand why someone is totally ok with fucking me without a condom (and without a conversation about my status)....but won’t eat my pussy!? It honestly baffles me.

I stopped him and gave him a condom. I could see the look of dismay on his face. I could feel his restlessness as he slipped it onto his cock. However, he behaved and slipped it on, and slipped inside of me.

At first it was delicious. A deep, slow rhythmic pace. I could feel all of him entering me, slowly bringing himself to the top, resting there and pulling out. From his size, to his rhythm… I was stimulated. My cervix was enveloped, my shoot tickled. I bit his arm as he plunged deeper and deeper into me with every thrust. This was what I’d been missing so much throughout the months.

But it continued, at this same...slow...pace. I had my fill of this lusciousness and became ravenous for more. I began to squirm and all I wanted was for him to fuck me. I encouraged him to go faster, to thrust harder...but all he gave me was this slow, steady, pace. I became bored of it. I couldn’t fathom why he wouldn’t take my advice to fuck my pussy out of existence.

I became frustrated and switched position. I wanted it from behind. I figured no one can resist a good hard fuck from behind, especially with my fat ass at his disposal.

But still, slow, boring, then very soon...soft.

He pulled out and apologized, he blamed the condoms, to which my response was “it takes practice.” He admitted to not getting tested frequently, so at that point there was nothing more to do.

I was filled up and at least that was half of what I was searching for. The next morning we awoke after falling asleep quite fast. He got dressed and I walked him to the door. He looked half ashamed and half “I don’t give a fuck.” He gave me a friendly hug and left my apartment.

On one hand he filled me up and provided decent conversation and delicious make outs...but on the other he could not fuck me into oblivion, he could not reach beyond himself to compliment my beauty, and he could not find it in his skinny little bones to eat my pussy.

Momentary gratification,  yet still deeply dissatisfied.

I need a monster to devour me, fuck me, adore me, and worship. I don’t have time for these little boys anymore. It was a good fuck gone wrong.


A stripper and a shrink.

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Life is filled with the moments of mundane monotony. The ordinary magic of life sometimes appears in an eerie compilation of curiosities. When you think that the moments may pass by in an unencumbered melody, you are engaged by a generous stranger.

I was in the corner of the club, on a slow week day. Many things had been on my mind, but nothing of any use. I sat alone, not quite ready to bring my best and don the mask.

I just sat there, phone broken, in my thoughts, feeling the night.

It was amidst my nostalgia I was approached. Approached by a man who seemed too casual to be here. Misreading my quiet as disturbance. He approached me with a folded bill which he placed in my hand. I hope your night gets better, he says as he walks past me.

I look up, a little confused, but grateful. My night wasn’t awful, but I was low, lulled, and lost.

He comes back around and looks at me with kind eyes and a sweet smile.

He approaches again, asks if he can sit by me. I agree and begin to put on my flirtatious mask, my alter ego of seduction. He is unphased by this. So I stop and just talk. No need for anything special. No need for anything more than what I am.

Soon we discover our passions are aligned. Both deeply moved by healing, by the mind, by true transformation. “I’m a shrink” he says. This terminology puts him at about 55-65  years old. His voice gets lower as we begin to talk about past lives, our souls purpose in certain experiences, even though at times those experiences hurt us.

It is all about the lesson he says. You can only offer so much to someone, and at that point, if they are not willing to grasp the wisdom, care, or healing you are giving, then you must realize, their soul needed this experience.

We talked a while. Things neither of us just freely open up to people about. It seemed as if karma herself placed us in each others paths, a stripper and a shrink. Both passionate, both deeply loving, and both willing to open. He left his card and said, if you’re ever moved to call.

And he walked away, leaving me with a mind full of ponderings and a pocket full of $50’s.


The sweet of me.

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It’s the small things that carry the heaviest weight of sensuality. It’s the curve of a shoulder peeking out, the sudden growth of my nipples as a draft passes. It’s the tastes on my tongue, a velvet touch against my skin, and the warm aroma between my legs. Yes, that is where it resides.

The sweet of me, the scent of my heat.

There are times, when I venture off alone. Alone to some corner of some dark little bar. I sit back with a glass of wine, a short dress, and nothing beneath. On hot evenings I like the patio, as the bashful breezes play between my thighs. I sweat beneath this temperate and am more fragrant than ever. The honey between my lips calls the men to me. I need to do nothing more than let my pheromones linger.

It’s my Venus trap. I will consume you.

Your wallet, your mind, your world…becomes me.